sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
