People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Randomize
