This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
