I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
