Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
