They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My ass is underappreciated
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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