i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize