if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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