peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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