Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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