Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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