He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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