i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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