O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
