Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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