Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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