I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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