i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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