You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
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