My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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