Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
