wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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