i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
