I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
