I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Randomize
