another moral hangover. fuck.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
