It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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