I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
