Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
