i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
