Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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