Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
