Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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