dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
