He is an equal opportunity slut.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize