i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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