Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
