I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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