I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
