She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
