At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
