You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize