ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
