Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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