Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
