Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize