8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
