I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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