Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
