it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize