just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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