i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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