'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize