thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
