I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
