i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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