I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
