So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
