I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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