I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I need moral support for this bender
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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