I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
