found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
