i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
