Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
