You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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