The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
