The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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