I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize