They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
