one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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