This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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