yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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