Your dad touched me again.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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